peach_gal (peach_gal) wrote in alton_towers,

The Alton Towers Hotel Fails

I went to Alton Towers yesterday! Overall I had a really fun time (when its Alty not fun?) However there were a few creases in this technicolor dream coat…


* Rita Queen of Speed. (Mr Alton Towers, I didn’t ASK for a face lift)
* Air (Refreshing and made my boyfriend sick. What more can I ask for?)
* The Flume (An unusual entry for my top 5 as this ride usually sucks. However Alty Towers have revamped this baby. Wetness (of all kinds!) guaranteed :D
* Oblivion. (An oldie but a goodie. Never lets you down. Well… ok it does….ok shut up).
* Eastern Express Jacket Potatoes =P


* The Ripsaw. (This baby shouldn’t feature on this list as it usually my favourite. However they were so tight on the water and ignored my screams to get soaked. So screw them)
* Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. (Drive around in a kiddies boat at 2miles per hour. Then stand in a vibrating lift. The joy!)
* Alton Towers Hotel (Not technically a ride and yet it DEMANDS to be featured here. The biggest disappointment known to man since the Sony press conference).
* UK Service Stations. (Want highly over priced food? Want food that’s barely edable? What screaming, whinging diarrhoea-laden brats? Want toilets where faeces-smeared walls are an art form?)

A few piccies…

Our hotel room. NO mini bar. NO room service. And we paid £300 per night for THIS?

The view from my room:

(At midnight, chavs liked to hang from this tour, high on dope and try to hark the Alton Towers theme tune. Wonderful)

This sign was the most interesting thing about our room:

You can always judge a hotel by it’s stealables! And Alton Towers is no different.

You fail.

Ho ho ho. Look at my face. You can almost see a hint of happiness…almost

This bloke fancied himself as a bit of a Shane Ward. But he sounded more like Bill Cosby on crack.

No room service and no mini bar means you HAVE to go to the restaurant if you don’t want to turn ana. The restaurant fails. We waited 45minutes for this salad, and listen up, it cost £20!!

This hotel = FTL

But of course, it wasn’t all doom and gloom. One of the ‘perks’ of staying in the hotel is that you get to go on the rides before everyone else, and you also get a vip priority pass.

This photo doesn’t show it v.well but the que times were 0minutes for everything! W00tage!

New for 2006!

Boy did Alton Towers get owned with this one.

Splash Landings. It’s a bit of fun.

Boyfriend FTW. Smoking FTL.


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